5 Tips for Calming Down
**This blog post is based off of my opinions and personal experience and in no way replaces information from your doctor. My first line of advice if you are in true crisis is to reach out to a trained professional; if you need help right now please call 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Hello everyone! This blog post was born from not only my own personal experience with coming back to center when in crisis or in emotional upset but lately, the experiences of close friends and family members. I’ll be sharing with you the top 5 things that have helped me during times of stress, anxiety and even panic attacks (Jump to tips). Call it witchy but the beginning of 2020 has thrown out quite a few curveballs for everyone I know, even the most solid of souls…particularly things have come to a head the past few weeks with mercury retrograde in the sign of Aquarius. I find that the energy relating to the upset is all about shedding and growing for our greater good. But painting letting go and growth in a fun and easy light would be un-true. Becoming is a process of navigating our emotions and really looking at ourselves. Sometimes the water is murky. This not only includes looking at what we want to see but looking at all of our super shadowy behaviors, understanding them and coming to terms with them to make peace with ourselves and the humans around us. Can you relate??
For my whole life I have struggled with anxiety and from a very young age I was fortunate enough to have a mother who was very in tune with her own emotions and raised me with many skills and tools to use when I get knocked off my roll. In later years. Yoga, mindfulness, therapy and life experience have added to my tool box on what to do when I feel emotionally upset or in crisis. I’m hoping that sharing some of the tools I have learned over the years might help others who are struggling with challenging times in their lives. I’m a firm believer that the more tools we have in our box to help us with our human condition the better off we are!
The techniques I’ll go through today can be used in times of the following:
Anxiety: Intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur.
Panic: Sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.
Stress: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.
When I’m feeling any of the ways listed above I will reach for some of the techniques I’ll be sharing today and work to ground myself back into present reality. Sometimes I use more than one of these techniques depending on how intense the emotion is. I’m ordering the tools below by way of usefulness during distress; 1 being most useful in extreme distress moving down from there.
Please keep in mind that everyone is different. My favorite tip may not work for you or tip 4 might be the most useful when you are in distress. Use your own inner guidance when giving these a try and listen deeply to what resonates with you and what you need.
5 TIPS TO CALM DOWN
Grounding
Look around the room you are in. Choose three things that you can see in the physical world. Examples include: Couch, lamp, green sweatshirt, can of soup etc… it can be anything that you see where you are right now. Start with the first one, look at the object and say what it is out loud. Follow with the other two. Grounding helps your mind focus on something outside of yourself.
Heart Centered Breathing
This I’m sure is out there in some book somewhere, but it is something I started doing without prompting. To begin, place one or both hands on your heart. Close your eyes and hear your heart beating. Even if the heartbeat is fast take a moment to realize that you are physically here and your body is working. Breathe in through your nose for the count of 3 and feel the hands on your chest rise; breathe out for the count of 3 and feel the hands on your chest sink (The counting in your head is very important). Do this until your heartbeat slows or until you feel calm enough for the next step.
Belly Breathing
Similar to heart centered breathing but good for when we’ve calmed a little bit and can focus on where we’re sending our breath instead of just that we are alive and breathing. “Belly breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which runs from the head down the neck, through the chest, and to the colon. This activates your relaxation response, reducing your heart rate and blood pressure and lowering stress levels,” says Matthew Solon of Harvard Men’s Health Watch. Place both hands on your belly and breathe into the belly for a count of three (You will know it’s working because you will feel your belly expand and your hands will be pressed away by the expansion); then breathe out for a count of three. You can breathe out through nose or mouth, sometimes I find that making a sound with an open mouth exhale can help me ground more into the present moment and move my mind away from the panic mode.
Repeating Mantra
Repeating a mantra (a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation) tends to help me come back. The mantra I gravitate towards when in panic mode is “I AM OKAY”. It is simple, it is reassuring (not doing to much) and it is easy to remember. Repeat this mantra out load, slowly as many times as you need. I find that my voice will get slower and calmer the more times I repeat the mantra and that’s how I can gauge its effectiveness. Here are some other ideas for mantras to use:
I am okay
All is well
I am calm
I am here
Eat Something
This is not for when you are actually panicking but more for when you are feeling stressed or a little fight or flighty. Consuming a grounding food such as whole wheat toast, oatmeal, warm soup or broth can be extremely calming. Making sure to eat very slowly. Allowing my brain to focus on digesting food instead of the stress I am experiencing has helped me. When I am a little stressed I tend to over eat but when I am extremely stressed my appetite completely disappears; so this step is incredibly important not only for calming stress and anxiety but for general health while dealing with anxious times.
Other interesting ideas:
Breath syncing - If you have a loved one who suffers from anxiety or you are a parent of a child with anxiety, you can use your calming energy to help regulate theirs. You can embrace or hug the person in need (with their permission of course!) and start to slow your own breath. Breathe audibly so they can hear the timing of your breath and if necessary you can even count for them (Breathe in for 1, 2, 3… Breathe out for 1, 2, 3). This allows them to focus on you and their body can sync to your rhythm calming their panic.
Chamomile tea - One 2016 study found that long-term use of chamomile extract significantly reduced moderate-to-severe symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). I like Yogi Tea Brand.
Create a safe environment - Where you can rest and reset. Clean your space, use dim lighting, gentle music or ocean/nature sounds, maybe light candles. Allow your body time to recover.
Reach out - to friends, family or professionals. You are never alone no matter how much it might seem that way. Asking for help is a courageous and strong thing to do. We’re all in this together!
